A Girl’s Confession

yesterday i cried… in front of C…

i just couldn control my tears…

i saw S, a sis of mine’s blog tat she’s feeling miserable and all..

she’s asking if the miserable feelings she felt is because of exams or her bf..

i immediately call her aupon seeing her entry.

she’s alright now.

and i was thinking…

she couldn even settle her own problems..

should i just confide in her??

this is what i always felt.. that’s why u can say i rarely tell my friends about the problems i faced..

about the worries i felt.. about the troubles i have.. about the stress i experienced..

i don’t wish to be a burden to anyone..

i wanted to be a "kai xin guo" that brings joy to my loved ones around me..

so i think i’ll choose to keep mum then.

at least C knows…

i finally told him amidst of my sobbing that i’ve actually thought of dying when we are quarreling and i was in his car..

i thought of jumping off from his car..

at that point of time, i felt as if all these are too much for me..

Is it that God don’t want me to have happiness??

such a person like me ain’t fit to be happy???

getting back my family means i will not have my love??

no one knows of this blog of mine..

i just want to confide..

thank you for providing me such a space.